Ooo, Vietnam. I have so many mixed emotions about you. The craziness of daily life, the smells that waft through the air that can make any pregnant lady instantaneously queasy. Yes, I’m talking to you, fish-selling lady. But you are the country that changed our family forever. We went from having a fur baby to having a family of four to having one human baby. We will always cherish our memories from Vietnam.
This is The Boss, and here is my therapeutic reflection one year after the birth of our sweet little bubs, Penelope, on the process of having a baby in Vietnam in the time of COVID.
Delivery and the Hospital Stay
I want to begin by saying I think my situation was rare or at least peculiar. I delivered two days before the military came to town. Vietnam was in the midst of its worst COVID-19 outbreak and was in the habit of making drastic reactionary decisions. This decision was the most ridiculous. From the 23rd of August no one could leave the house. Groceries were to be delivered by the military, which was terrifying to think of, and would only be what they deemed essential goods. Which was what? Nobody knows because the military gave up almost before they even started, but we still weren't allowed to leave the house, but...food...
Anyways, I could go on forever, but this is an article about babies.
So we get the word on Friday afternoon, August 20, 2021, that the supermax lockdown (16++) is about to happen Monday. Thankfully, I only had to teach in the morning that day, and I could join in with the rest of the crowds and panic shop. Hooray. Exactly what I was looking to do at thirty-nine weeks pregnant. I walked to the two nearest grocery stores and bought as much as an extremely pregnant woman could carry home. Yes, I had to walk because cabs were still only for medical necessities and vaccine appointments. No exceptions. No, apparently no one considered ready-to-pop pregnant a medical condition. I know. Man did I get the stares that day. What are you gonna do? I figured we had enough food for about a week after that trip, and with one more round of panic shopping on Saturday we would be good to go.
Then the panic set in. Forget not being able to fulfill pregnancy cravings. How was I going to get to the hospital with all the military checkpoints? What happens if my doctor can’t get to the hospital? How am I going to go to my doctor’s appointments leading up to birth? I decided baby girl needed to come before the military and we were going to try every old wives’ tale to make it happen. First up, spicy food. That night I made a feast of quesadillas and spooned the spiciest salsa like it was ice cream. Surely, that will get things moving, right? That night I woke around 2:00 a.m. with what I thought was heartburn. Man, I was so annoyed. Couldn’t sleep because heartburn, really?
Turns out that heartburn was contractions. Around 5:00 a.m., after I had cleaned all the dishes and watched all the TV, and it was only one hour until curfew ended, it was time to wake Ian up. Ian finished packing the hospital bag, we got the kitty set, and around 6:00 we started trying to get a cab. The cab finally reached us around 6:45 after getting stuck at a military barrier and having numerous Vietnamese people yelling at him about how to exactly get to us. The half hour or so cab drive turned into twenty minutes of him speeding through empty streets, honking his horn at all military check points, and yelling at the officers in Vietnamese. I imagine he was shouting something along the lines of ‘this white lady is not having a baby in my cab today!’
We made it to the hospital a little after 7:00 a.m., and then we had to clear COVID protocols. The hospital had to verify that we had up-to-date COVID tests. That's right: to deliver indoors Ian and I both needed current, negative PCR COVID test results, or else we would not be admitted to the hospital. We had to start having COVID tests every three days at thirty-eight weeks pregnant. No, it wasn't cheap. Yes, without any cabs. Thanks, COVID. Definitely got my walking in those last few weeks. Eight-km walks for COVID tests every three days in the southern Vietnamese summer while bursting with pregnancy...
Anyways, at the hospital, we clear COVID protocols and then terrify the staff with how far into labor I actually am because, of course, in Vietnam no one ever knows what to do about anything, everything is a major ordeal, and it has been over five hours already. I am quickly rushed to the delivery room where I am told to call Doctor Riche. Of course the hospital doesn't call. I have to call. The patient currently giving birth. Quite the phone call. “Hey, I am in labor. They told me to call you, no I do not know why, no I do not know where my husband is, no they are not speaking any English.” Off to a great start, huh? Riche hangs up. I start getting more and more angry that Ian is nowhere to be found. Riche calls the nurses and sorts stuff out. Still no husband, still very much in labor. Finally, I think they got annoyed enough of me asking for Ian that they allow him into the delivery room.
Turns out when you are in active labor your birth plan goes out the window in Vietnam. At least when there is a super max lockdown and most staff aren’t in plus your labor is a lot quicker than planned. Standing? Nope! Sitting up? Nope! Walking? For sure not! An IV in your hand that you will for sure rip out at least six times during labor? Yes! At least I was able to convey no pain meds. That part of the birth plan stuck.
Pushing started around nine. This is when things got oh for sure interesting. A sweet Vietnamese nurse jumped onto the delivery table with me and started pushing on my stomach. Yup, I had my very own Vietummy crusher. Turns out this practice is frowned upon in the West. It is called fundal pressure and increases the risk of (completely avoidable) severe spinal and brain trauma to your baby. Don’t worry – Penelope suffered no such trauma, but if you have your baby at Hanh Phuc make sure to say ‘no thank you’ to the tummy crusher just to be safe. Thanks for the information, Dr. Edie, and thanks, Vietnam, yet again for proving that your obstetric methods are stuck in the 1970s. After fifteen minutes of pushing, Riche decided to do his signature move and perform a surprise episiotomy to help get baby girl out faster. Maybe he had a tee time he didn't want to miss? I am pretty sure at that point I yelled 'what the f** was that?!' But, hey, labor and zero pain meds even when he conducted the episiotomy - not even a local anaesthetic, which I probably would have approved.
Finally, at 9:20 on August 21, 2021, we had our sweet baby girl. For anyone keeping score, my labor was pretty quick, which Ian always says was because I made sure to be super-healthy during my pregnancy.
After delivery is when Ian got to partake in the fun of language barriers. Apparently, I did not follow the 'traditional' path - whatever that is if it's even a thing at all - and frankly that confuses the heck out of the Vietnamese. What do you mean I don't already have a hospital room?! How is that possible? What? You labored at home for five hours because you don't have a private driver?? Whaaaa???
Finally, after about two hours of Ian coming and going, he managed to secure us a shared hospital room, and later in the day we could move to a private room. Yup, I was sitting in the delivery room for that entire two hours with a baby pooping on my chest.
Postpartum care was also tricky. There was definitely a language barrier, but the real problem was that no one was really trying to break that barrier - and this hospital is called Hanh Phuc International Hospital. It's not like we were at a local clinic. The lactation consultant smacked my hand and told me I was doing everything wrong and hurting my baby. Nope. The nurse laughed that milk wasn’t coming out because of how big my boobs were, and the pediatrician failed to tell me that my babe had a mild case of jaundice - normal, but hey, how about say something.
However, the real language barrier happened upon leaving. Now, remember, I gave birth right before the military came to town, and we were discharged from the hospital just as the military settled into Saigon to begin (not) conducting their futile and extremely short-lived attempt at food distribution. Let’s just say because of this transition getting home took well over five hours. It's normally a half-hour drive, and the roads were empty. Upon checking out the hospital staff were amazed we did not have our own private vehicle to take us home. We informed them that we came here in a cab and would need the shuttle to take us home. That is where things got interesting. Apparently, the shuttle needs to be booked way in advance. Like when you arrive. Thanks for telling us when we arrived.
The staff informed us that we would have to find our own way home. The suggestions they provided included: walking, sleeping in the lobby indefinitely, or walking across the border from Binh Duong to HCMC and then hoping a cab would subsequently pick us up. These were real suggestions by the hospital staff. Remember I just had a baby three days ago and the cab ride was thirty-ish minutes. After I went into full mama-bear mode for about an hour, the staff came up with an actual solution. They hired a driver, and we would get quick tests just in case the military needed them. The driver arrived after about three hours and we were finally on our way home. Surprisingly our babe was an angel throughout this whole process. Thank you, Penelope!
Phew, that felt good to get it all out. I can tell you my labor and after care were definitely not what I imagined, but I can also tell you I my baby is here, healthy, and happy, and that is what is really important.
If we were to go through this whole process again, I would go a different path. I would try FV Hospital and try the OBGYN at Raffles, Dr Hong Anh. I saw her for issues that arose postpartum. She put my mind at ease by listening to my birth story, she was thorough, and she even made sure to check on me multiple times. In general, her clinic was not nearly as nice as Dr. Riche’s at Hanh Phuc, but she listened and explained everything. I felt very comfortable with her.
After the Hospital Logistics
Yes! Maternity and paternity leave exist in Vietnam. Thank you, Vietnam, for real. Being from the United States where there is zero guaranteed paid maternity leave and teachers have the joy of burning all their sick days while also making endless sub plans while being 30+ weeks pregnant sounds horrendous - yet another reason why we would have not been able to start a family unless we moved abroad. Vietnam, a developing country, has well outdone the US in this category.
The Vietnamese government requires employers to provide three months full-pay maternity leave. Still want more time with that squishy little bubs? No problem. The Vietnamese government offers yet another three months of maternity leave. This time you won’t get full pay, but the government will give you a ninety million (≈ $3,800 USD) ‘social insurance’ check and you still get full benefits (such as your housing allowance) from your current employer. Yes, you heard that right. Ninety million (almost four thousand USD) to anyone that wants to take an extra three months maternity, and your employer should just take care of it once you give them the birth certificate. That’s right a full six months of maternity leave. Ian even got a bit of paid time off. Although he did have to make sub plans, he enjoyed two weeks paid paternity leave.
Good thing you get that much maternity leave too! The paperwork to bring a cute little chunk into this world is something else especially if you are an expat abroad. First major hurdle: get the birth certificate…the Vietnamese one. Save yourself the headache. Hire an agent. We hired a lovely Vietnamese man named Tuan (If you would like his contact information, please let us know in the comments!). He walked me through the entire process and will do the same for you. He even picked me up and drove me on the back on his motorbike to the acquisition of the birth certificate appointment. The true Vietnamese experience. He was able to get this whole process started during the super max lockdown which helped us avoid the long queues after the lockdown lifted. He is great. Spend your time with the new cute squish - not navigating the bureaucracy of Vietnam.
Got the birth certificate? Super! Step 1 is done. Now time to get that bad boy translated if you are a citizen of another country. Again, you can do this yourself, but why when you have a man named Tuan? He did this for us in less than 5 days. He really is a saint. Also get copies of that and hold the original(s) tight.
Now, you can get on your employer to get the babe a Temporary Residence Card (TRC). Contact them ASAP and they should be able to tell you everything.
Alright, moving onto the US specifics. Birth certificate?! Check. Translated?! Check. Now you can start working with your embassy. The US consulate lays everything out clearly on their website. You can do the Consular Report of Birth Abroad (CRBA) and the passport application at the same time. We came prepared with all the documents listed on the website. However, we only actually had to present a few documents. My suggestion: come over-prepared. You never know how much they will actually want to see, and you do not want to have to make another appointment. After our appointment, we were able to receive the documents within a couple of weeks.
The only document you cannot process at the US Consulate in Saigon is the social security card. This form must be sent to the Philippines. Seems daunting but really isn’t. Fill out the form found here. The most important part of this process is, when filling out the form, to make sure the mailing address is to a US address. If you have lived in Vietnam long enough, you know the mail is extremely unreliable. You will never see the card if you use a Vietnam mailing address. Send it to someone you trust and can pick it up from. Thanks, Mom! Done with the form? Send it via DHL here. Done! Congratulations: you have gone through all the paperwork of having a kid in Vietnam if you are a US citizen.
Life with a Baby...in Vietnam during COVID
We spent the first month locked down with our bubs. Penelope and Toby became best friends for the few short months they had together. It was the most adorable friendship to watch grow. I am so happy the Vietnamese cherish family and allowed me to have the needed bonding time.
Transitioning to working life is also made easy. Hiring a nanny was easy and cheaper than the local Montessori. Post on the local Facebook groups and you will get hundreds of applications within a day. Our nanny became part of our family. Penelope adored her. This friendship made going back to work so much easier. Also, because I just had a baby, I got an extra hour break during the work day for pumping. This is mandated by the Vietnamese government.
Overall, the Vietnamese love them some babies! You can see it through the government policies and the adorable reactions in the streets. Be prepared for every grandma and grandpa to smile, wave, shout “bebe!" or even the brave ones try to touch the feet or cheeks. Babies really are magnetic for the Vietnamese grandparents. Again, adorable.
Although my birth story was never one I would have imagined, I could now never imagine my life without our baby. Honestly, the visits before labor were great. The time I was given to bond was amazing. Vietnam may not have the most advanced medical…anything…but they are certainly way ahead of the US in terms of compassion and social assistance. Thanks to Vietnam we were able to afford a family, have adequate time to recover, and have adequate time to bond. This is something I will forever be grateful for. If you are thinking about having a baby in Vietnam, go for it! Just be prepared for delivery, make sure to advocate as much as you can for yourself, and try to avoid giving birth during a super-max lockdown.
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