No, I don't mean escape under the cloak of night - midnight runners often have a tough time finding another decent post or - worse - risk full-on blackballing. We definitely don't encourage career suicide.
No, no - I mean lace up some running shoes, find your favorite stretchy undies, get outside, and sweat buckets! If you're finished with the meat market scene at the gym or if your apartment building's gym is just too small, stuffy, or ill-equipped, make a move outside.
I hear you. You live in the scorching desert or the suffocating jungle. Me too. I never ran just to run until I was 33, and we lived in the Arabian desert at the time. Now we live in sweltering southern Vietnam. Hot hot hot.
I suppose I must have aged into it. I don't care how fast I am or - I should say - how slow I am. It's about the activity, the heart rate, the being outside. When I was a kid, running bored me. I hated and avoided training even if I played a sport. You can imagine how effective I was as a result. Now I love boring. Boring is my jam. I think about climate crisis, forest fires, gun violence, pandemics, and politics, and all I can think is I'll take boring any day.
I used to have the most acute fear of missing out. I always wanted to stay up later, go out, do more. I always wanted to go and see. What were other people doing? What are they doing? Where do you go to have that experience? To know? To feel that rush? You feel it with that person in that moment. It feels like a Meatloaf or Bowie song. An unexpected explosion that you have to let go because it's over already.
Now? Yeah, no. I'll take a kitty-cat and a glass of red wine, thank you.
In my advanced age, running is a period of peace, a break from all the nonsense of work and the world. When I run, I can think about anything or nothing, and all I have to do is stay upright and breathe. I sweat out my impurities and my rage.
I don't do music while I run. I like to hear what's going on around me. I like to know when I pass it all by. Sometimes even fart on it.
As long as I keep going and I don't push too hard too often, I'm being healthy. I like that. And if I can run ten kilometers in the summer in Vietnam, maybe one day I'll run a half-marathon. I'm pretty satisfied running five-to-ten, though. Well, run-walking most days with breakthrough days sprinkled in. It's my microcosm of life. Most days are slow, a little painful, and necessary; often enough things are smooth; sometimes you just can't; and once in while you are the champion of your own personal course.
In truth, boredom was but a part of my initial motivation for running. Seeing other people run who made me think I should be healthier than that person or surely I can do better than that is what finally put runners on my feet. That person runs? I can run. I'm no saint. I have pride. I really love when I see people during a big race running my distance who look fit - a guy with abs or pecs or no body fat or whatever - and I beat him. And nothing's better than sprinting to the finish while passing twelve people in the last hundred meters of a ten kilometer race. Twelve skinny people. Eat my love handles.
Intrinsic motivation is great, but extrinsic motivation works.
'Virtual' races work for me. They help me stay motivated through long stretches of training - I still don't love running. I probably never will. I cross-train; a little swimming; a little band-work. But running travels well. I appreciate that. I don't need a pool or props or weights. Just regular workout clothes and the right shoes.
The Spacebib Website is one of the major peddlers of online runs. I've done quite a few - at times, I have been known to binge on Spacebib (and other) races that offer awesome-looking medals and shirts.
These days I'll do virtual runs that are for charity...not for swag alone. Spacebib is heavy on the swag, but they do have some events for charity: the Earth Day Online Race, the Run for Tiger Online Race, etc. During the Covid-19 pandemic, I was able to participate in events that would have been live and in-person (and inaccessible to me in Vietnam) but had to be shifted to a virtual setting: the Phillies Charities 5K, the Eagles Autism Challenge, the Friar 5K, etc. - fun (and well-branded) events for good causes.
And sometimes all the motivation I need is for The Boss to tell me she's proud of me. Sometimes. Not all the time.
I like running in different places. I haven't just been there. I've run there. Dubai, Seoul, Hanoi, Beirut. I've been a somewhat athletic person there. Yeah, super-healthy. Until dessert that night. Earned it! Good job, self.
Some people think food shouldn't be a punishment or a reward, that exercise is for being healthy alone. Screw that. I exercise so that I can eat what I want...to a certain extent. Ten years ago I could eat chocolate cake for breakfast and three pounds of Mexican food for dinner and be fine - and I didn't even run then. In my mid-thirties, I have to be conscious to eat more slowly; have fruit in the morning; eat vegetables and drink tea; take meat, chocolate, and pastries in moderation; and not destroy the entire pint of ice cream at once. It's awful, but it's better than it would be without running, and I know it'll only get harder if I don't keep it together now.
And I love carbs. Love. I roll my eyes when I hear people poo-poo on food rich in carbohydrates as though they're diet gurus. I'm trying to avoid carbs or oh, I've just had too many carbs or my personal favorite: I don't eat carbs.
HA! HA!! You don't eat carbs? Right. Sure thing, hot stuff. We all totally believe you.
And then there's the I'm intermittent fasting - oh my god shut your face unless you're putting food in it. Periodic anorexia might be socially acceptable these days, but it's dumb.
So shut up about it and wear out those runners. I'll see you at the pasta buffet, and we can talk about cats over wine.
I don't think I can say it any better than I did at my first five kilometer race: I don't eat yogurt and run because I like it. I do it to age gracefully. How else could I keep traveling?
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