What more could anyone - especially a daft American - write about London in a six-minute read than a nibble? As with Paris, Tokyo, or New York, London always has more to do.
As such, let's have this common bit of trivia out of the way early: in The Life of Samuel Johnson LL.D. Vol. 3, author James Boswell shares Johnson's long-infamous assertion that "when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford." The two were discussing how Boswell, a Scotsman living in Scotland, might feel about living in London.
We can for sure get behind that, Sam.
I hesitated to write this article for a time due to fear of benevolent nitpicking by English friends, but I resolve to conquer that fear and remind these sterling individuals that I am but a base colonist not worthy of the valuable time it would take to generate their precious revision suggestions. I pray they forgive the ignorance my words dribble upon this digital page and have mercy on my miserable, septic soul.
But we can still make this interesting: I challenge any of my English friends to publish an article about the United States. Bonus beer for going anywhere other than New York or California.
We stick in London today with the exception of the easy and obligatory day trip to Windsor. Let's discuss ideas for a comfortable week or so in the UK's nonpareil capital.
Staying in Southwark
We loved staying in Southwark - we found a perfect AirBNB a minute from the Borough stop on the Northern Line between Elephant & Castle and London Bridge, which is is an easy ride from Gatwick Airport via the Thameslink train. Being near London Bridge station is also convenient for regional travel. You can, of course, also take the Tube from Heathrow Airport.
Southwark puts you near two great open-air markets, Borough Market and Mercato Metropolitano. You could eat and drink at these two markets for days. I imagine there are worse things.
Borough is a short walk from Shakespeare's Globe and the Tower of London, and if you enjoy walking, you can take a nice, long stroll past the Globe, the National Theatre, the Tate Modern, and the Millennium Bridge all the way into Westminster along the River Thames on 'The Queen's Walk.' I had the most perfect morning photo walk from Borough to Westminster Abbey and back before The Boss even woke up. Sometimes, everyone can win.
Shakespeare's Globe
This was it for me. We had just arrived at the AirBNB after traveling for about sixteen hours, and I just had to drop our stuff and run to the Globe. Sorry, Boss; no time for napping. Before we knew it, we were part of a tour; shortly after, we had tickets to be groundlings at Hamlet. We arrived for a lucky tour, too - we were able to watch the end of an Othello rehearsal and then head down to ground level. Often, we learned, a tour will either silently witness a rehearsal or be able to roam and make noise and photograph freely - not both. We were able to do both. We slept well that night.
The production of Hamlet we attended was the finest Shakespeare I've ever seen, and part of its charm was, as Matt Wolf of The New York Times reports, that it was cast "without regard to gender, race or ethnicity." Yes, the most captivating titular Prince of Denmark I have ever witnessed is the brilliant, dynamic Michelle Terry.
Westminster Abbey
After taking that lovely long walk along the Thames and past the Palace of Westminster, don't miss the Abbey!
Walking over and past the graves of so many of history's most famous people all in one place carries fantastic gravitas. The luminaries interred at Westminster Abbey include Charles Dickens, Isaac Newton, Laurence Olivier, Stephen Hawking, Edward the Confessor, Elizabeth I, and Henry V. According to Westminster Abbey, over 3,300 individuals are buried there. You can also order a nice bookmark when you reserve your tickets. The Boss loves using her Westminster Abbey bookmark!
Tower of London
The Tower Bridge and Tower of London are in the other direction along the Thames from London Bridge - not far. The Tower Bridge is the cool-looking blue and white one. That's not London Bridge; that's the Tower Bridge.
Here you can queue up to see the crown jewels and plenty of history regarding high-profile prisoners, including Anne Boleyn. The White Tower is the centerpiece and oldest structure of the site. Outside, see Traitors' Gate, where prisoners floated in.
The British Museum
You don't need me to tell you that The British Museum is one of the greatest history museums in the world - and it's free.
Among the treasures there are the Rosetta Stone and other Egyptian pieces, a ton of Greek amphorae, sculptures from the Parthenon and the Mausoleum of Halikarnassos, artifacts from ancient Mesopotamia and Persia, and much more.
Charles Dickens Museum
A combo trip to The British Museum and the nearby Charles Dickens Museum is easy.
The Dickens Museum is the only remaining house in London where Dickens lived - he wrote Oliver Twist there, and there are furnishings there that he used when he wrote some of his later works, including Great Expectations and A Tale of Two Cities. You can also see Dickens' wine cellar.
Be sure to enjoy a cuppa on Dickens' back patio like a classy gentleman.
Buckingham Palace
The stroll down The Mall in Westminster, lined with trees and Union Jacks, is lovely, especially on a clear summer day. You can see the outside of The Queen's house in London anytime, but if you want to tour the inside of this active working palace, you must book timed tickets. It's a nice place. I'd live there.
Enjoy yourself some strawberries and cream at the café - when in London, eh? And after touring The Queen's house and hanging out in her back yard, you can go have a brew at The Shakespeare nearby toward Victoria Station. Speaking of strawberries and cream, we had Wimbledon Brewery beer there.
Literary Fun Along the Tube
If you need a Harry Potter experience while you're in London, you need not go to Universal Studios. Head to King's Cross St. Pancras station, where you can queue up for photos at Platform 9 3/4. After photos, you can enjoy frosty beverages and other quality pub fare at The Parcel Yard.
A few stops away, the Baker St. stop has a statue of Sherlock Holmes outside, and around the corner (on Baker St., of course) is the Sherlock Holmes Museum.
See a Show!
Next to Broadway, London's West End is perhaps the best-known place in the world to catch a show. On my first-ever trip abroad at the tender age of fifteen, I had the privilege to see Blood Brothers at The Phoenix Theatre. It was the first time I felt the transformative power that live theatre could have. On our latest trip to London, we saw a phenomenal production of Young Frankenstein at the Garrick Theatre. Needless to say, the Globe, the National, and the Old Vic aren't the only places in town to catch a show.
Go see one! Who knows? It could change your life.
The Bermondsey Beer Mile
Not far from our pad in Borough beer-lovers can enjoy the Bermondsey Beer Mile, "a loose amalgamation of brewery bars and bottle shops...that's closer to two miles long nowadays" as Spank The Monkey explains.
The list of establishments on the BBM is long, so you have options. I wouldn't try to hit all of them at once - I think I'd probably die. You can make a solid pub crawl with even just a small sampling of them.
Windsor
For all you SAT verbal fans, here's an analogy:
Windsor : London :: Versailles : Paris :: Potsdam : Berlin :: Summer Palace : Beijing
Royals of all nations sure do love themselves a palatial suburban retreat compound.
Windsor is an easy day or half-day trip just outside of London, and Windsor Castle is a great place to check out the Queen's guards in their redcoat and bearskin swag. St. George's Chapel is a beautiful example of Gothic architecture.
There are plenty of local pubs around town for lunch and beer. Shocking, I know.
Cheers, mates! Enjoy London - unless you're tired of life.
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